That is what the past is however, the past. In front of us is a new year, a new day, a new and improved relationship with God. That is my desire, to have a relationship with the Lord. It gets difficult sometimes because I don't want to wait on the Lord. I want it now and I want it to be in my own way. I want God to answer my prayers and I lay out a blueprint for Him.
Is that getting me anywhere? No. When I try it my own way, as I often do, the Lord has to redo all the mess I have made for myself. And then help me move forward. I must move toward the goals he has set for me in his way and in his time. Any other way is a waste of time and energy. It often brings unnecessary heartache.
Do I know this from experience? Yes, I do. For instance, I've been married five times. None of the five were meant to be. In other words, none of them were in God's will for me. Now it is too late. I have tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart right now because of what I have done. All I ever wanted was a happy marriage. It may have been in God's will for one, but now it is too late. The sadness comes not from being alone for most of my life, but that I did not obey God. My four children have suffered because of my mistakes. The cruelty of watching them struggle is heartbreaking. We not only hurt ourselves but many generations to come when we disobey the Lord.
Asking the questions, "What do You want to change about my life"? "What do You want to accomplish through me"? "On what and on whom should I focus"? become more relevant in light of my lifetime of doing it my own way.
Phil. 3:13-14: Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it, But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining for what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."