Thursday, December 26, 2013

The year 2013

All the views I get on this page, I wonder why no one leaves a comment.  Anyway, the year 2013 still has a few days to go, but I still want to write things down so I do not forget.  Or that I am the mood is more like it.  I truly wish I could say that this year has been a great year, but sorry to say, it really was not.  I am sure I spent New Year's Eve alone as I have for most of the last 11 years.  At least I had Cupcake with me then, but she is gone now.  I had to put her down.  She was 16 and I should have done it sooner, but my children did not want me to, but it  was time.  It is one of the saddest days of my life.  I held her while the vet gave her the shot or whatever.  I will never forget when she dropped her head.  I guess she was gone by then.  It was immediately and painless for her.  My son's dog, Moe, stays with me most of the time and they had become good friends.  So, poor little Moe mourned for about two weeks, but finally started being his own self.  He does not have anyone to play with now.

A good thing was I, as a lay person at my church, was asked to speak on Jesus' 7 last words for Good Friday.  There were 7 of us and I was Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Did you know that the deciple John was the only deciple that was at the crucifiction?  He (Jesus) made sure of his mother's welfare through the agony and suffering he was going through.  To John, here is your mother, to Mary, here is your son.  God's grace is sufficient for me.  Even when I feel bad or sad or disallusioned, his grace is everything.

The house I have lived in for three years has three pilons leaning and causing the house to settle more and more to the point that I think it may become dangerous.  As it turns out, it may be the ground that is uneven, not the pilons.  Insurance probably won't do anything about it, but I am not giving up.  There was a serious wind storm a month ago, and shingles were knocked off the roof.  The insurance should fix that.  I don't know what God has in mind, but do trust him.

I have been a bad steward of Go's money, and so it is my own fault I don't have the resources to get the necessary repairs for this house.  Still, I believe God will send someone to help.  I do have relatives who will help, but it will probably make my mom mad.  She thinks I take advantage of my sisters.  Especially the middle one.  Maybe I do.  But I have faced a lot of things about my childhood that I did not think was wrong.  I would have been better off if I had just believed it was good.

One of my sons is in prison.  I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with my three other sons.  They were nice days.

I am trying to live on a budget.  I turned 69 this year and just now realizing I really do not know how to budget.  I am doing a bad job as of now.  I may not get out of debt before I die.  I do not make enough.  Again, it is my own fault.  God is not going to allow anyone to come to my rescue this time.  So I am on my own with His help of course.

There is more I suppose.  Those are just the highlights.  I am now the Ministry Assistant at the church which I love.

So, like everyone else, some good days and some bad days.  It is what we call "life."

Saturday, October 19, 2013


I cannot give details, but Praise the Lord, someone in need found us.  Tuesday, a young woman was walking and according to her, she was walking where she had not walked before.  She was praying about what she should do.  As she was praying, she looked up and saw our sign.  She came in and we had a nice fellowship period with her.  I pray she will come back.  Also, she had not eaten in a few days and we were able to feed her.  Praise the Lord.

If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what goodfn is that?
Tools specific to Jam 2:16

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Prayer Journal

This is a blessings journal.  It seems I have complained a lot in this blog.  Still, every complaint is an opportunity to grow.  I want to grow spiritually and have a relationship with Christ.  Depression is an opportunity for growth.  I've become that way because I cannot afford the meds I've been prescribed.  That sounds like a "cop out" but so be it.  I've battled depression all of my life.  When there was no name for it, people were put into "mental institutions" and many were probably forgotten.  So, thank God for modern remedies.  Why is this a blessing?  Because knowing I can't afford the meds (only one, still can afford two) I'm forced to find other ways of relief.   I've started watching my diet and started walking.  Walking is the best thing for depression.  It lifts your mood and causes a natural "high".  I have always known these things but for some reason have to think about them before I act.  So, for now, this is my blessing, that I have depression and have started doing something about it.  I cannot do anything without God's help.  So praise God.  I don't think anyone really reads this but family and myself, but if you have gotten this far, please give me some encouragement.  Follow my blog, share with others who are depressed.  This is an opportunity to start a dialogue with others who suffer in this way.  For today, my plan is to eat right, and walk.  Pray for my family and others.  Embrace my relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.  
Hbr 4:16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  (NIV)

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