Thursday, December 26, 2013

The year 2013

All the views I get on this page, I wonder why no one leaves a comment.  Anyway, the year 2013 still has a few days to go, but I still want to write things down so I do not forget.  Or that I am the mood is more like it.  I truly wish I could say that this year has been a great year, but sorry to say, it really was not.  I am sure I spent New Year's Eve alone as I have for most of the last 11 years.  At least I had Cupcake with me then, but she is gone now.  I had to put her down.  She was 16 and I should have done it sooner, but my children did not want me to, but it  was time.  It is one of the saddest days of my life.  I held her while the vet gave her the shot or whatever.  I will never forget when she dropped her head.  I guess she was gone by then.  It was immediately and painless for her.  My son's dog, Moe, stays with me most of the time and they had become good friends.  So, poor little Moe mourned for about two weeks, but finally started being his own self.  He does not have anyone to play with now.

A good thing was I, as a lay person at my church, was asked to speak on Jesus' 7 last words for Good Friday.  There were 7 of us and I was Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Did you know that the deciple John was the only deciple that was at the crucifiction?  He (Jesus) made sure of his mother's welfare through the agony and suffering he was going through.  To John, here is your mother, to Mary, here is your son.  God's grace is sufficient for me.  Even when I feel bad or sad or disallusioned, his grace is everything.

The house I have lived in for three years has three pilons leaning and causing the house to settle more and more to the point that I think it may become dangerous.  As it turns out, it may be the ground that is uneven, not the pilons.  Insurance probably won't do anything about it, but I am not giving up.  There was a serious wind storm a month ago, and shingles were knocked off the roof.  The insurance should fix that.  I don't know what God has in mind, but do trust him.

I have been a bad steward of Go's money, and so it is my own fault I don't have the resources to get the necessary repairs for this house.  Still, I believe God will send someone to help.  I do have relatives who will help, but it will probably make my mom mad.  She thinks I take advantage of my sisters.  Especially the middle one.  Maybe I do.  But I have faced a lot of things about my childhood that I did not think was wrong.  I would have been better off if I had just believed it was good.

One of my sons is in prison.  I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with my three other sons.  They were nice days.

I am trying to live on a budget.  I turned 69 this year and just now realizing I really do not know how to budget.  I am doing a bad job as of now.  I may not get out of debt before I die.  I do not make enough.  Again, it is my own fault.  God is not going to allow anyone to come to my rescue this time.  So I am on my own with His help of course.

There is more I suppose.  Those are just the highlights.  I am now the Ministry Assistant at the church which I love.

So, like everyone else, some good days and some bad days.  It is what we call "life."

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